24 THINGS EVERY MILLENNIAL GAL THINKS ON CHRISTMAS DAY

1. Jesus, it’s 11am. Remember when I used to wake up at 6?
2. YES, a pyjama day I don’t have to worry about. Or do I need to dress up? Shit, I should have gone on ASOS for a Christmas Dress.
3. Did my Advent Calendar come with 24 doors? Or was it 25? I better have some chocolate to eat for breakfast or I’ll cry.
4. YAY, presents.
5. Who bought me socks? Maybe you could pay my rent for a month instead, or buy me Wine? Come on people.
6. Ooh, baileys.
7. Is it too early for alcohol? Fuck it, BAILEYS AT 11.30 BECAUSE CHRISTMAS.
8. Why do I have to get dressed because the cousins are coming over? They’re family, can’t they love me in my natural sloth state? Apparently not.
9. Sparkly eyeshadow for Christmas Day? Too much? Nah.
10. Definitely too much eyeshadow. Except my eyes have gone a bit blurry from all the Bucks Fizz so that might just be me.
11. I’ll be a good daughter and help cook dinner…WOAH maybe don’t interfere after all.
12. Where’s the Quality Street?
13. OH MY GOD, FOOD. So blessed, so happy, thank you for this lord
14. Except, oh, my potatoes are burnt/turkey is dry/gravy got forgotten. Oh well, I can still eat triple I normally would.
15. Is 3 slices of pudding too much?
16. Wow, definitely too much food. Cramps.
17. Am I meant to enjoy the queens speech? Does it make me more cultured if I say I do or do I sound stuck up?
18. JESUS, mega food cramps.
19. Oh god, I’m definitely drunk now. How much can I drink in front of my boyfriends nan?
20. Oh wait, she’s asleep/drunk too. No worries.
21. ALL THE WINE.
22. I need my bed now. I’ve already fallen asleep with my cracker hat on and I need help.
23. Hiccup.
24. Wow, Christmas is overrated. When I’ve moved out it’ll be better cause I can at least choose my own tree. NEW YEARS RESOLUTION.

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